How to Become a Hardcore Kid in Your Late 20s
Here are my five easy steps!
It’s never too late to change your identity, and it doesn’t have to be hard! In fact, it can be a fun process for you, your loved ones and extended social circle to watch unfold before their eyes.
I learned this firsthand when I transitioned from being an average-Toronto-hipster-yuppie-type into a hardcore-centric (average-Toronto-hipster-yuppie-type) at the ripe age of 26.
After more than a decade of enjoying heavy music in the privacy of my over-ear headphones, I was introduced to hardcore music and its subculture through skateboarding - specifically, an interview with pro skater Dane Barker. In the interview, he talks about the values of the scene and provides his recommended hardcore starter pack, including releases by Turning Point, Agnostic Front and Biohazard. This list sent me down the hardcore rabbit hole, falling in love with 80s Youth Crew, classic New York Hardcore, and the emerging COVID-era bands.
Virtually overnight, my entire outlook on life became shaped by the music & lyrics of the artists, and looking back more than three years later, I’m better for it!
So let me tell you how YOU TOO can become a hardcore kid in 5 easy steps:
1) LISTEN TO THE “CLASSIC HARDCORE” PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY
At the end of the day, hardcore is about the music, so you had better start listening to it!
While there are some questionable inclusions (i.e. bands widely considered post-hardcore), it’s a place to start! If it weren’t for the evil people at Spotify who curated this playlist, I probably wouldn’t have heard Vision of Disorder - for that, I’m eternally grateful!
2) BUZZ YOUR HEAD
That hair isn’t serving you anyways!
The buzzed head is a tried & true hardcore look, signifying your new identity to your family & social circle. If you want to ease into it, go to your barber and ask for a fade (i.e. “a #1 on the sides, #3 on the top”) or save dollars in the longterm by copping yourself clippers off Amazon and buzzing it yourself!
In case you’re not sold already, here are two more reasons to remove your pompadour:
Time saved washing & drying your hair = more time for slamdancing in your apartment
Instantly look 2x less f*ckwithable (my girlfriend says I look “scary”)
My weapon of choice - the corded Wahl Magic Clip.
3) GO STRAIGHT EDGE
Weed gives me anxiety and booze gives me hangovers - do away with them! You’re in your mid-twenties wasting your days away at a 9-5 - you have enough negativity on your mind to have it compounded by drugs and alcohol.
You can substitute your puffs with inhalations and exhalations of Wim Hof breathing, and switch your Heinekens for Heineken Zeros! Thank me later.
4) GET TRADITIONAL TATTOOS
This might be the most expensive and crucial step to get right - as tats are for life. Your parents will probably hate them, and your girlfriend’s parents will too, but I’d rather risk my chances of finding love or gainful employment than feeling left out in the Terror pit any day of the week.
Recommendation: Get inspiration from the IGs of the fine artists at Smith Street or the Pearl here in Toronto. They are some of the best traditional tattooers in the world!
5) GO TO A TURNSTILE SHOW
“C’mon Mom, they were nominated for a Grammy!”
I’m not sure if Turnstile knew that they would become the figurative turnstile (or gateway) for people to get into hardcore when they named their band; but with the release of GLOW ON in 2021 that’s effectively what they’ve become. Entry-level hardcore.
I don’t mean this as a diss - I’m forever thankful for their accessibility helping me get deeper into the genre. With what felt like so many new-to-hardcore fans in attendance at my first show (Turnstile at the Phoenix in Toronto), it felt like a safe space to learn the etiquette of a show and helped me fall deeper into the scene.
I’VE ALREADY DONE ALL THIS - WHAT NOW?
Become a Hare Krishna monk
Take up a mixed-martial art
Start a post-hardcore or shoegaze band
Make DRAIN noises and/or bark while in public with your family & friends
If you’re not familiar, listen below…
Buzzers are in the mail